


I can't do this alone.

by shadowkatninjawarrior



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Healing, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-05 08:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3113531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkatninjawarrior/pseuds/shadowkatninjawarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Started out as drabbles but kind of became a story of how Mack and Fitz got together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take a break, Have a Kit Kat.

**Author's Note:**

> There are no Kit Kats, I just couldn't resist  
> Not Beta read

"No! No no no no!"  
Fitz throws his pen across the room, narrowly missing a surprised Mack. An easy smile lights up his face.  
"Havin' trouble Turbo?"  
Fitz puts his head in his hands.  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to... to..."  
Mack chuckles a little, looks like it's one of his bad days.  
"Throw a pen at me?"  
"Yes. Well, no. I meant to throw it but I didn't... see you there"  
Mack nods.  
"So, what are you working on?"  
Fitz frowns.  
"It's... It's a um... oh, a..."  
He gestures a little helplessly for Mack to come over and take a look at the notes in front of him. At first glance it's complete nonsense. But, then again all of his work is nonsense at first glance. Mack leans in closer, both men pretending not to be painfully aware of exactly how close they are. Looking carefully it begins to make more sense.  
"It's a shield"  
Fitz nods.  
"Yes but... also ah... when you can't... look at it"  
"Cloaking as well? Impressive. For... the Bus?"  
A flash of worry crosses his mind, does Fitz realise that's been sorted?  
"No, no, not for that, that's been done."  
Mack breathes an internal sigh of relief.  
"It's for... everything."  
"Everything."  
"No... not... no that's not quite... it's for the... the base!"  
Mack raises an eyebrow. "That's quite the task"  
"you don't think I can do it?"  
Mack laughs.  
"Well I know I couldn't!"  
Fitz cracks a small smile.  
"It's nearly finished but something is... wrong, it doesn't... ugh!"  
He lets out a half scream and slaps the table. Mack barely even flinches.  
"Well I was gonna take a break, I came to see if you would like to join me?"  
"I don't know"  
"There'll be pizza."  
"...no" Mack frowns.  
"You need to take a break."  
"I need to finish this."  
"Not right now you don't. When was the last time you left the lab?"  
"...um"  
"Right that's it. Mack attack!"  
Mack scoops him up out of his chair and into his arms bridal style. Fitz lets out a decidedly feminine squeal. He wriggled half heartedly, laughing.  
"Put me down!"  
"Nope!"  
He wriggled again but Mack's grip was iron fast. Suddenly, he stopped moving and looked up quizzically.  
"Mack attack?"  
Mack shrugged, well as much as he could with his arms full of Fitz.  
"Skye came up with it, I kinda like it." Fitz snorted.  
"Now you gonna continue fighting me? Or can I put you down so we can walk to the rec room like civilised people?" Fitz looked around and realised that Mack had distracted him long enough to carry him out of the lab and into the corridor.  
"I won't fight. You can put me down now." Mack lowered him gently to his feet. "I'll bet I beat you at Mario Kart." Fitz grinned. "You're on!"


	2. I'm here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz can't sleep.

Drowning. It felt like drowning. Can't see, can't think, can't breathe. Fitz curled in on himself, whimpering softly, eyes shut tight. A swirling darkness which always lurked on the edge of his consciousness, was today consuming him. He had been getting better, this hadn't happened in a while. Images flashed through his mind. Ward's face as he allowed them to fall from the Bus, Simmon's face as she realised only one could swim to the surface, the disappointed faces of his friends as they realised he would never be the same again, the pitying glances they gave him when they thought he wasn't looking. Any time he had felt pain, fear, grief, shame. His own deficiencies closing in on him.  
A hand touched his arm and a new image filled his mind. Mack. Smiling cheerfully at him. He couldn't make out the background, but that didn't matter. He opened his eyes and realised it wasn't just an image, Mack was really there. A shining light scything through the suffocating dark. Mack was talking but Fitz's fear addled brain couldn't comprehend, but that didn't matter, it was comforting all the same. Gentle hands slid under him and lifted him into the air. The panic inside him was still there, making the walls seem as though they were closing in on him. Too close, claustrophobic. The arms around him stopped him from slipping back into the darkness but the memories of the water were still too fresh.  
He vaguely realised that they were moving through corridors but the walls were still too close. He tried to concentrate on the calming steady beat of Mack's heart. They went through a door and cool air wafted over them both. Fitz shivered a little, opening his eyes. They were outside, on the roof of the base. H felt the last of the darkness slide back into the recesses of his mind as he gazed up at the stars. He felt Mack sit down and arrange Fitz comfortably in his lap.  
"You ok now Turbo?"  
It took a moment to find his voice but he managed to reply.  
"Yes. Thanks to you."  
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, admiring the stars. Fitz points up to the sky and asks  
"Which constellation's that?"  
Mack took a moment to find exactly what Fitz was pointing at. He studies it.  
"That's Orion."  
And so, Mack named the constellations and told the stories behind them, entirely made up on the spot for Fitz's benefit. Eventually the exhausted younger man drifts into a deep, untroubled sleep. Mack smiled down at him, before lifting him into the air again. He was on his way back to Fitz's room to drop him off when Skye came around the corner. She looked utterly shocked to see the pair of them. Her shock morphed into utter delight as she realised Fitz was curled up asleep in his arms. She squealed quietly.  
"You guys are so cute!"  
Mack smiled at her.  
"We were just watching the stars."  
She squeals again, trying desperately to stay quiet. After a few seconds she manages to get herself together.  
"I'll let you carry on."  
She says, practically dancing away. Mack just shakes his head, knowing Skye this will have spread throughout the whole base by tomorrow morning. When he thinks about it, he discovers that he doesn't really care. They don't bump into anyone else and soon they are at Fitz's door. Mack shoulders it open and looks around the chaotic room. The walls were covered in diagrams, blueprints and complicated equations. The bed was unmade but Mack ignored that and placed Fitz gently onto the bed. Leaning down, he placed a kiss onto the sleeping man's forehead.  
"Sleep well Turbo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't started the next chapter yet so might be a little while.


	3. Let me help you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz is having a little trouble with buttons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Beta read, please tell me if anything is wrong :)

Mack woke up to a timid knocking at his door. Cursing and grumbling, he rolled out of bed. He was only a morning person when he'd had more than two hours sleep. He glanced at the clock: 8:57am. Last night had been a long one, Coulson had charged him with repairing three faulty car that were needed the next day. Well, today now. He opened the door, rubbing a hand over his face. He opened his eyes to find a flushed Fitz looking sheepishly at the floor, shirt undone, hair mussed. Mack took a moment to admire the smaller man's chest. Only a moment...   
"Woah, uh, what you doin' here Turbo?"   
Fitz glances up. "Oh, did I..." his gaze returns to the floor as he fails to find the right word   
"Wake me? Yeah, but that's ok."   
He shakes his head "Perhaps I should go. I know you were working late last night."   
"No, man, what did you need?" Mack prompts gently.   
"Uh. I can't do my shirt." He holds up his hands as though surrendering. "My hands keep shaking."   
"Oh. Ok, come in."   
Fitz looks at him, a little surprised, and complies with the request. He shuffles in, taking in the room for the first time. It's bare, utilitarian almost. Everything is functional. There are engine parts strewn across the desk but other than that the room is spotless. Mack sits on his desk chair, motioning for Fitz to come closer to him. Fitz takes a little step forward but is still over a foot away. Mack rolls his eyes and grabs him by the shirt, pulling him close. He begins deftly doing up the buttons, starting from the bottom. They both flush furiously, avoiding each other's eyes. Eventually Mack does up the last white button on his pastel blue shirt and meets Fitz's eyes, placing his hands on his shoulders.   
"You know, you don't have to be ashamed of asking for help. Especially not from me. I'm always here and I will always help you."   
Fitz broke eye contact. "I know. I just don't..."   
"Like it?"   
"Yeah, that."   
"It's ok." he slides his right hand up to the side of Fitz's neck and rubs his thumb over the skin comfortingly. "You are not broken." Fitz's breathing hitches a little at that, and he leans forward a little further. Mack is just beginning to lean in when a sharp knock at the door causes them both to fly apart as though burnt. Without waiting for an answer, Skye flings the door open, proclaiming   
"Mack, Coulson needs you!" she stops, looking at the two of them. Fitz looks like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar whereas Mack just looks annoyed. "Am I interrupting something?"   
They both answer at the same time   
"No!" Fitz.   
"Yes!" Mack.   
They glance at each other. Skye tries not to giggle. "Well Coulson sounded urgent if that helps."   
Mack practically growls. "Fine." He gets up and marches over to the door "I'll see you later." He directs this at Fitz who nods vigorously. Mack then goes to find Coulson, leaving behind an extremely red Fitz and an eyebrow-wiggling Skye.


	4. You make me worry.

Mack was gone. Three days. The mission was only supposed to take two at the most. The others hadn't wanted to tell Fitz that he was going on a mission but Mack had insisted.   
"He's not broken. And, despite what you think, he's not going to break because of this."   
Mack was right. He wasn't going to break because Mack went on a mission. But, he may just do so if he didn't come back.   
Fitz was pacing, had been for a good while now. They hadn't received any kind of contact since the transmission an hour ago informing them something had gone wrong. So Fitz fretted. Mack was out there somewhere, in danger and he couldn't do a single thing about it. He just had to have faith that Mack would come home. Admittedly, he had more faith in Mack than in anyone else but this didn't stop the fretting. He flashed back to the pod under the crushing weight of the sea. He wondered if this was anything like the way his friends had felt waiting for news of himself and Jemma. What if Mack came back injured... That wasn't something he wanted to think about right now. The very idea that Mack could be... No! No, Mack is fine. He has to be. He is.   
He looked again at the radio patched into Mack's frequency sitting on the desk, lifeless. He prayed for the moment when a burst of static would signal the beginning of a transmission. He sits at the desk, foot tapping feverishly. Much as he tries he just can't seem to sit still, the nervous energy just bubbles out of him. The door opens and Skye pokes her head in.   
"Mind if I come in? I bring food!" she smiles at him.   
He merely grunts at her but she takes it as permission to enter. In her hands she holds a box of pizza with two drinks balanced on top of it. She sets it on the desk and looks at him with concern.   
"When did you last eat?"   
He shrugs and mumbles. "Not hungry."   
Skye shakes her head sadly. "I know you're worried for your boyfriend-" at this Fitz sits up in his chair looking panicked.   
"My WHAT?" He screeches.  
Skye rolls her eyes at him. "Okay fine, your friend. But you gotta eat. When Mack comes back he doesn't want to find you weak from hunger. He will be less than impressed." Fitz still looks unsure. She lifts the lid on the pizza and wafts the delicious scent towards him.   
"Come on, you know you want it!" she sings.   
Fitz inwardly thanks Skye for helping him when he was close to slipping into... whatever. Outwardly though, he rolls his eyes and acquiesces.   
Together, they demolish the pizza while Skye does enough talking for the both of them. Fitz continues to worry, but he's glad he has a friend like Skye, to distract him.   
It's not long before Fitz slips into a fitful sleep in his chair and Skye slips out silently, praying that Mack is ok out there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh a cliffhanger!


	5. I'll come home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see what's happening over on Mack's end.

The cold air scraped at Mack's lungs as he gasped for breath. Hunter was draped over his back like a backpack. A freaking heavy backpack. Damn Lance getting himself knocked out, he was supposed to be the expert here. Mack was only out there because all of the other field agents had been busy at the time, and Mack had some field training. He hadn't signed up for Hydra turning up to take potshots at them.   
Strong and healthy as he was, running through the valley with his Hunter-backpack was beginning to take his toll. He needed to find somewhere to rest for a while, also it was soon going to be night. Spotting a cave a few metres ahead, he found a burst of speed from somewhere. Hustling inside he gently deposited Hunter on the stone floor. The cave was cold and damp but it was long, providing excellent cover.   
He reached for his radio but his hand closed on nothing. It must have fallen somewhere in the mad dash to escape the hail of bullets. He grabbed Hunter's, but it wasn't turning on. He would have to take it apart and check each component. Fitz would know exactly what to do. He would take one look at it and fix it straight away. Fitz... Mack cringed. He had promised he would be back in two days. The sun setting outside marked the end of the third. Oh, Fitz was so gonna kill him when he got back. If he got back. No. When. He made a promise to Fitz and he intended to keep it no matter what. There was little he wouldn't do for that man, he had long ago accepted that he was completely in love with the irritable scotsman with the expressive eyes. He had no clue who he had been before the big 'accident' no one ever wanted to talk about but that didn't matter, he didn't care. Mack loved the person he had met, though he was unsure as to whether the feelings were reciprocated. He made a quick promise to himself. When he got back he would find out.   
Mack froze as the sound of a helicopter pervaded the quiet air. Closing his eyes, he prayed that it was on his side before stepping out into the fading light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER COZ I AM TRASH


	6. I always worry

Mack opened the door cautiously, trying to be as quiet as possible. He saw Fitz sprawled asleep in what looked to be an uncomfortable position on his chair. Smiling, he shut the door behind him before approaching Fitz. The smaller man was frowning in his sleep, his lips moving very slightly. He leant forwards and pressed his lips against Fitz's forehead in a chaste kiss. Startled, Fitz opened bleary eyes as Mack moved back a little.   
"Mack" he said, equally blearily. His eyes began to close again but after a moment they shot open again.   
"Mack! You're home!" He launched himself forward, throwing his arms around the larger man's neck. Mack grunted in pain as the enthusiastic Scotsman collided with him. Immediately, Fitz had pulled away.   
"Sorry!"   
"It's ok. Just a little sore is all." For the first time Fitz noticed that Mack's left arm was in a sling and there was a bandage over his shoulder.   
"What. What. What uh... happened?" Fitz stumbled over the words.   
Mack gave a single shoulder shrug. "I had just managed to get Hunter into the helicopter when one of the Hydra agents got off a lucky shot, caught me in the shoulder. Hunter is fine."   
"Lucky shot? You could have been killed!"   
"Yeah but I wasn't. I promised you I would come back didn't I?"   
Fitz grumbled. "Lance is so gonna pay for this. That... that numbskull was supposed to be protecting you, not the... not, not the other way around!"   
Mack chuckled. "Calm down turbo, it was trying to protect me that got him knocked out in the first place."   
Fitz softened at this. "Oh well... I suppose all that matters is that you're both safe." He buries his head in Mack's chest, mindful of the injured shoulder.   
"I was so worried." Mack wraps his working arm around him.   
"I know turbo. I'm sorry I made you worry." Fitz just sighs. They stay there holding each other for a few minutes before Mack breaks the silence.   
"You know there is something I promised myself I would do once I got back." Fitz looks up, interested.   
"Oh yeah? What is it?"   
"This." Mack leans down until their lips are centimetres apart and hovers there for a moment to allow Fitz chance to pull away. Impatient, Fitz surges up to meet him in a passionate kiss. He tries to convey all his feelings, his love, his worry, his elation in one kiss because actions are so much better than words. Eventually, they break apart, leaning their foreheads together.   
"I love you Fitz."   
"I love you too Mack."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I AM TRASH. I HAD NO CLUE HOW TO FINISH THIS AND THIS IS THE BEST THING I COULD COME UP WITH BECAUSE I REFUSE TO WRITE SMUT.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed.


End file.
